Vodka is our enemy. But Russians are not afraid of enemies!

 The most known stereotype about Russia is a strange trio:  “white bear, fur-hat and vodka”. And if the first two one can find only in a small part of Russia, the latter is spread all around the country.

Personally I haven’t drunk vodka since I was 16 ( I’m 30 years old now). Once I overestimated my abilities when celebrating New Year Eve with my schoolmates directly in the school-canteen. My schoolmaster even had to call an ambulance to bring me round and to wash out my stomach. My parents were blushed with shame, and for some good reason I was not expelled

 So, as you can see, Russians begin to deal with this spirit quite early on. One of the reasons – is its cheap price and its quick reaction.  Children buy vodka and mix it with juice. We call this drink – a screwdriver. You can buy it even in a small “beer”-can.  When Russians become older, they begin to drink neat vodka with food, and till the end of their lives this method remains the only right way of consuming it.

I don’t like it when foreign people think that all Russians drink too much, my friends and I prefer good wine, but I realize that in our country it is quite expensive and most people truly prefer vodka. Thus besides the world known stereotype we have a lot our own anecdotes, proverbs and sayings on this theme.

 What are the rules for Russians drinking vodka?

• Well initially, rule number One is 'who you're with'. Being in the right company is vital. Russian vodka is sociable, it's best in good company. Vodka permeates all structures, classes, genders and generations. It flows freely and both brings people together and temporarily seperates them until a later period, when again all is right. In fact not just right, it is better. If one drinks it alone it means that he or she has great problems or just an alcoholic. Vodka causes sincere conversations. It works like a psychoanalyst, but be careful – it gives you a loose to a tongue. We joke that “ There are no ugly women – there is not enough vodka”

• Secondly – a good “table”. Here I mean right variety of appetizers. Most Russian traditional dishes are good for vodka, but it is impossible for us to drink it with French, Italian, Indian or any other food. Usually in a restaurant menu you can find a separate list of vodka-appetizers, such as Russian pickles, salo ( pig fat), soaked cabbage and many others. If you drink vodka at home it means that a lot of people sit around a big dinner-table with lots of Russian food on it. Such gatherings can last about 3-4 hours – vodka helps you to have good digestion. We say “ don’t snack after the first” – it means that you drink the first shot and then without a breaking or eating follows the second – to smooth out the general mood.  Vodka is drunk in small shots of 40 ml – that contains one sip.

• Thirdly – vodka should be cold. When it is cold it pours and drinks like silk. We have a joke: “warm vodka?! From a soap-dish?! Of course I will!!”.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • Fourthly – do not mix! The only alcohol drink that can be mixed with vodka is beer – you can drink it before, but not after or altogether. In all other cases next day you will wake up with a huge hangover. “ What will happen if I drink too much? –It will be the day after tomorrow”. 
   

The hangover is a traditional Russian fun. Everybody has their own recipe to pull through it. The first most known is a liquid from dill-pickles or soaked cabbage ( obligatory with salt and without vinegar! ). To tell the truth I’ve never tried it myself, it is popular mostly in villages. The second way is to drink beer. It really works. We say – drink in the morning – the whole day is free. 

Contemporary people understand that it is harmful to our nation and some even think that a secret American plan exists to subordinate Russians… Vodka is our pride and is our pain.

P.S. By the way, Russians like to say a toast before every drink, but we do not say "na zdorovie" - it was invented for foriners, because they do not know the rules of saing toasts. And yes, we have certain rules...